Movies.....everyone loves them at one time or another. They have a way to speak to us. This 2008 version has some differences from the original 1951 version, but both versions are very good in exacting a message.
Now whether you believe in UFO's and other life out in the very vast and infinite universe or not, the projected message is powerful as to what is happening to Mother Earth. We have much more technology today, powerful telescopes and machines with camera's to see other planets, and great minds who specialize in science. I watched a show on the history or discovery channel the other night about life on other planets and how scientists are discovering that yes, it's very very possible. By life, I am not speaking of human beings. I am talking about various cells and anti bodies that can survive in tar like substances (even though we believe that water is the essence of all life) and some cells can survive in gases and other different types of possibilities.
Back to the movie. It speaks of problems surrounding mother earth. These problems are caused by yep, none other than us. The pollutants, holes in ozone layers, smog and how destructive humans are not only to the planet but also to each other. The movie brings up excellent points and we are seeing things happen at a more rapid pase. Extreme dry weather in some places which cause fires to rage, extreme rain in other areas to cause terrible floods, the melting of our glaciers at an alarming rate and the rise of sea levels are just a few. We may experience more tornados, hurricanes, tsunami's, earth quakes......So what are we to do? Gas, oil, electric companies are rich, while our wallets, purses and earth suffer. If we keep going like this, what future do our children and grand-children have to look forward to? Their world will be consisting of the horror of the movie the day after tomorrow (2004). Many species will evaporate as if they were the fabled unicorn.
I do not know the answers and what we should do, but I know it does ponder on my mind. What could it hurt to get our officials to think of alternatives and solutions to the problem. Show these to the President. Some states have started making changes with rails like subways and buses. All states need to participate in this change not just two or three. If we lead, perhaps other countries will see this threat also and take it more seriously. They do have amazing and brillant scientists also. We all have contributed to this problem and it will take us all to help with the solution.
What do you think?
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Relationships....your perception of them.
Welcome everyone. This subject (relationships) has been plaguing many these days. It's a subject that is constantly coming up from my clients and is blogged about very frequently and has been for months now. It's far more popular then any other subject or situation, so it seems. Lately, it seems that many people are becoming obsessed over thoughts, worries, actions and concerns of another and what this person is thinking and doing. It totally is consuming them and has reached a point where it is just about all they think about and are concerned with. Hello, there are other duties in life that are being ignored. Some of these duties just can not be ignored or forgotten. It's gotten to the point where I am so concerned about this subject that I am pulled and compelled to write about it. It's now getting out of hand. It's time to snap out of this. It is so not healthy.
What you are forgetting about is you. You should be first and foremost the important one. Where do you stand in all of this, besides in confusion and hurt? If you do not take care of yourself, who suffers? Who will take care of you, if not you? Do you have children being affected? What about your job? Are your friendships suffering because all you do is obsess about this other person? Like what is not happening between you two and what is ocurring with this person and someone else or the other interest? Stop this. It's time to get to the root of the problem, which many of you will not like hearing. You. Most likely, you will target me for the anger/angst you feel and fully knowing this, it's a chance I'm willing to take for your well being. There won't be anything that you can say that I haven't heard already. Please understand that I am not trying to upset/stress you anymore than what you already are, no, no, no, far from it, but to help you find balance and understanding. If you are ready to open to another perspective and really look at why the relationship(s) are not showing satisfactory conclusions, then please read on.
To understand any and all relationships, you must first understand yourself. Why, because this is how you tick, think and perceive. It doesn't matter the type of relationship or if it is a love relationship - meaning family - parents, siblings, children, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc., or if it is a buddy relationship - meaning being friends, having get togethers, hang out nights or clubbing or if it is a romantic relationship - meaning spouse or significant other - someone you trust to share aspects of life with on an intimate level. Yes, I understand you can have conversations about intimate things with close family members, friends or doctors, but that is not the point I am trying to make here. I am sure you understand the level of intimacy I am talking about is of the sexual nature. Now moving on and getting back to you, think what went wrong with this relationship. Why did the break up occur in the first place? Why did the other person leave and walk away? Chances are the other person left you. How do I know this....well, because this explains your way of thinking and obsessing. If you were the one who left, you wouldn't be so concerned about what the other person is doing. You'd be feeling relieved that it is over, the dread/pressure/hard part is over and you can be free to move on. Right?
Let's explore further. When you are the one who is left, it leaves many questions, anger and complete disbelief. Sometimes you see it coming and other times, you don't - completely blindsided and has you caught off guard. Examples: how could this happen; what did I do; I am the best thing that ever happened to this person; is there someone else; what does this other person have that I don't; they'll wise up and come back; we had such a connection, and the list goes on and on. Connection or not, something changed. What was it? Consider your past habits and how it has affected things. Did you call to much, become clingy or possessive? If you called or texted alot and they didn't answer right away, what happened? Did you allow your thoughts to run away with you? People get busy at work and can not always take calls or could be in a meeting or the boss is in front of them. They may be driving and can not be distracted due to traffic. Maybe they are in the shower or their phone fell out of a jacket pocket or purse in the car or between the sofa cushings which muffles the ringtone or vibration, they may not even know the phone is missing or the battery is dead or they are in a dead zone. Perhaps they are making hamburgers or meatloaf and their hands are dirty or they are under the car fixing something. There are hundreds of innocent reasons why they didn't take the call. This is where your imagination runs away with you and it relates to self esteem issues, trust issues and lack of self confidence. What if the table was turned and they called you but you didn't answer...what happens? Is there a fight? Is it no big deal and forgotten about? If it's forgotten and dismissed, there is no issue on their end. So why is there an issue on your end?
The bottom line is why do you not trust this person? Why, if they are not at your becken call, are you so suspicious? Has a situation occurred in the past to create doubt? If so, and you worked it out, is it not forgiven and forgotten? This is a trust issue. Without trust, there can be no romantic relationship. No matter how you try, without trust, it's doomed.
If you have changed by becoming needy or clingy, what happened to create this change? Were you out somewhere and noticed that your partner was getting lots of looks or attention? Is the attention more so than usual? Think to why this is happening and what changed. Did your partner lose weight, start exercising and toning up, running marathons, get their teeth whitened, cut their hair, get a tattoo or buy a motorcycle? Did they get promoted or land a job which gives them more confidence and a stronger self worth. Think about it because something happened to cause you to become lacking in the self confidence aspect.
There are times when a cooling off period can be a good thing. It gives time to work through issues and turn things around, plus to see the other persons perspective. Put yourself in the other persons shoes and compare the actions. How would you feel if you felt smothered, stifled or not trusted? Both people concerned have a life. You are each individuals, not siamese twins joined at the hip. Everyone has their own spirit. There is a work life, buddy life, home life. Face it, you can not be together 24-7 for 365 days of the week. Even if you are retired, you must both have outside interests and break times away - no matter how short. Example, shopping must get done and golf must be played.
Now, if one person has moved on (meaning dating someone, living with someone or just cutting all ties with you), then it's time for you to let go and move on also. You can not change a persons feelings or control them. They are their own spirit as are you. If they do not feel the same about you anymore - it's out of your hands. There is nothing you can do to make them have those feelings again. If it's gone, it's gone. You do not own them and there is no genie that can grant you three wishes. If you are feeling like you need closure or to get the last word in or express your feelings, write it down as you would in a letter intended to be sent. It helps and it's okay to cry while doing so. It's part of the healing process. I, myself, wouldn't recommend sending to the person. Why? Well, as time goes by and you heal, you can one day look it over again or if you burn it or trash it, you can recollect on what you wrote and how you handled the break up and still feel relief. But if you send it, you may have put something in there that sounds stupid now or silly. And who knows if the person would show it to someone or post it on their myspace page which may cause regrets. If it helps, tell yourself that it was that person's loss. You may not be the shining star in this person's life, but you will be in someone elses. When the time is right or you least expect it, someone will come along and treat you with respect and love. Meanwhile, go through the healing stages and try to understand the reasoning behind some of your actions or mistakes. It will make for a brighter future for you and the people close to you. You survived before them and you will survive after them. If the Lord called them home, what would you do then? How would you get the closure? You have to face reality and see things as they are (see the writing on the wall), accept the lesson, heal and move on.
Love, light and brightest blessings.
Also, go back and recollect on some of your friends or family members and how they handled break ups. Did you know the break up was coming before they did? Did you see changes in their persona? Were they unaware of these changes because of being blinded? By comparing what you saw happening with them, it may help you to relate and see where the shifts occurred with yours.
(Written/posted by LAA 6/09. May not use without authors concent)
What you are forgetting about is you. You should be first and foremost the important one. Where do you stand in all of this, besides in confusion and hurt? If you do not take care of yourself, who suffers? Who will take care of you, if not you? Do you have children being affected? What about your job? Are your friendships suffering because all you do is obsess about this other person? Like what is not happening between you two and what is ocurring with this person and someone else or the other interest? Stop this. It's time to get to the root of the problem, which many of you will not like hearing. You. Most likely, you will target me for the anger/angst you feel and fully knowing this, it's a chance I'm willing to take for your well being. There won't be anything that you can say that I haven't heard already. Please understand that I am not trying to upset/stress you anymore than what you already are, no, no, no, far from it, but to help you find balance and understanding. If you are ready to open to another perspective and really look at why the relationship(s) are not showing satisfactory conclusions, then please read on.
To understand any and all relationships, you must first understand yourself. Why, because this is how you tick, think and perceive. It doesn't matter the type of relationship or if it is a love relationship - meaning family - parents, siblings, children, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc., or if it is a buddy relationship - meaning being friends, having get togethers, hang out nights or clubbing or if it is a romantic relationship - meaning spouse or significant other - someone you trust to share aspects of life with on an intimate level. Yes, I understand you can have conversations about intimate things with close family members, friends or doctors, but that is not the point I am trying to make here. I am sure you understand the level of intimacy I am talking about is of the sexual nature. Now moving on and getting back to you, think what went wrong with this relationship. Why did the break up occur in the first place? Why did the other person leave and walk away? Chances are the other person left you. How do I know this....well, because this explains your way of thinking and obsessing. If you were the one who left, you wouldn't be so concerned about what the other person is doing. You'd be feeling relieved that it is over, the dread/pressure/hard part is over and you can be free to move on. Right?
Let's explore further. When you are the one who is left, it leaves many questions, anger and complete disbelief. Sometimes you see it coming and other times, you don't - completely blindsided and has you caught off guard. Examples: how could this happen; what did I do; I am the best thing that ever happened to this person; is there someone else; what does this other person have that I don't; they'll wise up and come back; we had such a connection, and the list goes on and on. Connection or not, something changed. What was it? Consider your past habits and how it has affected things. Did you call to much, become clingy or possessive? If you called or texted alot and they didn't answer right away, what happened? Did you allow your thoughts to run away with you? People get busy at work and can not always take calls or could be in a meeting or the boss is in front of them. They may be driving and can not be distracted due to traffic. Maybe they are in the shower or their phone fell out of a jacket pocket or purse in the car or between the sofa cushings which muffles the ringtone or vibration, they may not even know the phone is missing or the battery is dead or they are in a dead zone. Perhaps they are making hamburgers or meatloaf and their hands are dirty or they are under the car fixing something. There are hundreds of innocent reasons why they didn't take the call. This is where your imagination runs away with you and it relates to self esteem issues, trust issues and lack of self confidence. What if the table was turned and they called you but you didn't answer...what happens? Is there a fight? Is it no big deal and forgotten about? If it's forgotten and dismissed, there is no issue on their end. So why is there an issue on your end?
The bottom line is why do you not trust this person? Why, if they are not at your becken call, are you so suspicious? Has a situation occurred in the past to create doubt? If so, and you worked it out, is it not forgiven and forgotten? This is a trust issue. Without trust, there can be no romantic relationship. No matter how you try, without trust, it's doomed.
If you have changed by becoming needy or clingy, what happened to create this change? Were you out somewhere and noticed that your partner was getting lots of looks or attention? Is the attention more so than usual? Think to why this is happening and what changed. Did your partner lose weight, start exercising and toning up, running marathons, get their teeth whitened, cut their hair, get a tattoo or buy a motorcycle? Did they get promoted or land a job which gives them more confidence and a stronger self worth. Think about it because something happened to cause you to become lacking in the self confidence aspect.
There are times when a cooling off period can be a good thing. It gives time to work through issues and turn things around, plus to see the other persons perspective. Put yourself in the other persons shoes and compare the actions. How would you feel if you felt smothered, stifled or not trusted? Both people concerned have a life. You are each individuals, not siamese twins joined at the hip. Everyone has their own spirit. There is a work life, buddy life, home life. Face it, you can not be together 24-7 for 365 days of the week. Even if you are retired, you must both have outside interests and break times away - no matter how short. Example, shopping must get done and golf must be played.
Now, if one person has moved on (meaning dating someone, living with someone or just cutting all ties with you), then it's time for you to let go and move on also. You can not change a persons feelings or control them. They are their own spirit as are you. If they do not feel the same about you anymore - it's out of your hands. There is nothing you can do to make them have those feelings again. If it's gone, it's gone. You do not own them and there is no genie that can grant you three wishes. If you are feeling like you need closure or to get the last word in or express your feelings, write it down as you would in a letter intended to be sent. It helps and it's okay to cry while doing so. It's part of the healing process. I, myself, wouldn't recommend sending to the person. Why? Well, as time goes by and you heal, you can one day look it over again or if you burn it or trash it, you can recollect on what you wrote and how you handled the break up and still feel relief. But if you send it, you may have put something in there that sounds stupid now or silly. And who knows if the person would show it to someone or post it on their myspace page which may cause regrets. If it helps, tell yourself that it was that person's loss. You may not be the shining star in this person's life, but you will be in someone elses. When the time is right or you least expect it, someone will come along and treat you with respect and love. Meanwhile, go through the healing stages and try to understand the reasoning behind some of your actions or mistakes. It will make for a brighter future for you and the people close to you. You survived before them and you will survive after them. If the Lord called them home, what would you do then? How would you get the closure? You have to face reality and see things as they are (see the writing on the wall), accept the lesson, heal and move on.
Love, light and brightest blessings.
Also, go back and recollect on some of your friends or family members and how they handled break ups. Did you know the break up was coming before they did? Did you see changes in their persona? Were they unaware of these changes because of being blinded? By comparing what you saw happening with them, it may help you to relate and see where the shifts occurred with yours.
(Written/posted by LAA 6/09. May not use without authors concent)
Detoxing.
We hear so much about that these days. There are ads in magazines, tv commercials, info-commercials. Lots of different ways are available to cleanse the body of impurities, chemicals, pesticides and antibiotics in food and water which lead to forms of bacteria that can build up in our bodies.
But what about detoxing for our minds? People go around with minds full of bad thoughts and the wrong thoughts. Example, so and so hurt me, how I can’t do this or that, work sucks or I’m out of work completely and can’t find a job. Well, listen to that. Those are toxic and poisonous thoughts. It affects our minds, body and spirit. It affects and contaminates our perspective, outlook and self image. I am sure we have all met people who are bitter, negative and always expect the worse to happen. They can be cynical and criticize everything. Think to how you feel being around someone with those so called ‘qualities’ or characteristics. Do you feel dread? A sense of hopelessness? These are the ones that need a mental/spiritual cleansing. Now, you may be wondering, how do you detoxify your mind and spirit? Well, first you must decide to starve the mind of the impurities of dwelling on situations. You must decide to let them go. Okay, it happened, dwelling on it won’t make it go away any faster or come to pass quicker. By dwelling on negativity, you keep it alive and around you. In other words, you are feeding it and giving it new life and so it tends to stick around. Example, don’t dwell on what you don’t have, look at what you do have. Don’t dwell on the illness, loss of work, what mistakes have been made. Your best days are still ahead of you. They are in front of you. You’ve heard the saying, the best is yet to come. Well, detox your mind and it will be. Strength and victory can be yours. Keeps thoughts of faith, hope and be determined to be a valor and have victory.
Now, once people have detoxified their bodies of the chemicals and pesticides that have occurred as a result of their diets over the years, they tend to see improvement in some areas and even feel better - more energized, more creative, more healthier. Well, by detoxing your mind of these negative thoughts, you can put yourself on a spiritual diet to obtain victory and joy. Don’t you think its time to bring that back into your life? Lets get back the confidence. Instead of saying I can’t do this, why not turn it around and think, how can I make this possible and have it happen. Let go of disappointments and hurts, learn from them, then turn it around. It is possible and you hold the key. Do you have faith? Do you believe in God? Well, if He leads you to it, he’ll lead you through it. God loves you and wants you to overcome. He wants you to be happy, enjoy the day you’ve been given. If someone tries to dampen your spirit, think to yourself, who do they think they are? I refuse to let them rain on my parade. This day is a gift and I’ve decided to be happy and face things with strength. Smile at the person and walk away. Leave the misery behind you. Don’t give in to why can’t you be like your brother or sister. Why can’t you be smarter in school. How can you not grasp or understand my concern? Or what about this one, you know you’ll never amount to nothing, you’ll never succeed, etc. You are who you are. You are unique and different from everyone else. People haven’t been cloned to be alike in every aspect. You are who God wants you to be. All things are possible with faith. What matters is what God thinks of us. That is precisely how I made it through some of my younger years. I was different and considered strange because of my ‘gifts’ that I was given. People didn’t understand and some may have even been scared. At first, it bugged me immensely. Then I got over it. I don’t care what they think or say. What matters is how I feel and think and what God thinks. He thought me worthy which is why he made me different than them. Or it could be I’m more sensitive to things than they were. It helped me to think differently and by thinking God doesn’t think of me as a freak or as scary, then I didn’t let those thoughts penetrate my mind anymore.
Try detoxing the mind. It might just do you better than you can imagine. Brightest blessings!
Originally posted 5/4/09, written by LAA. May not use without concent of author).
But what about detoxing for our minds? People go around with minds full of bad thoughts and the wrong thoughts. Example, so and so hurt me, how I can’t do this or that, work sucks or I’m out of work completely and can’t find a job. Well, listen to that. Those are toxic and poisonous thoughts. It affects our minds, body and spirit. It affects and contaminates our perspective, outlook and self image. I am sure we have all met people who are bitter, negative and always expect the worse to happen. They can be cynical and criticize everything. Think to how you feel being around someone with those so called ‘qualities’ or characteristics. Do you feel dread? A sense of hopelessness? These are the ones that need a mental/spiritual cleansing. Now, you may be wondering, how do you detoxify your mind and spirit? Well, first you must decide to starve the mind of the impurities of dwelling on situations. You must decide to let them go. Okay, it happened, dwelling on it won’t make it go away any faster or come to pass quicker. By dwelling on negativity, you keep it alive and around you. In other words, you are feeding it and giving it new life and so it tends to stick around. Example, don’t dwell on what you don’t have, look at what you do have. Don’t dwell on the illness, loss of work, what mistakes have been made. Your best days are still ahead of you. They are in front of you. You’ve heard the saying, the best is yet to come. Well, detox your mind and it will be. Strength and victory can be yours. Keeps thoughts of faith, hope and be determined to be a valor and have victory.
Now, once people have detoxified their bodies of the chemicals and pesticides that have occurred as a result of their diets over the years, they tend to see improvement in some areas and even feel better - more energized, more creative, more healthier. Well, by detoxing your mind of these negative thoughts, you can put yourself on a spiritual diet to obtain victory and joy. Don’t you think its time to bring that back into your life? Lets get back the confidence. Instead of saying I can’t do this, why not turn it around and think, how can I make this possible and have it happen. Let go of disappointments and hurts, learn from them, then turn it around. It is possible and you hold the key. Do you have faith? Do you believe in God? Well, if He leads you to it, he’ll lead you through it. God loves you and wants you to overcome. He wants you to be happy, enjoy the day you’ve been given. If someone tries to dampen your spirit, think to yourself, who do they think they are? I refuse to let them rain on my parade. This day is a gift and I’ve decided to be happy and face things with strength. Smile at the person and walk away. Leave the misery behind you. Don’t give in to why can’t you be like your brother or sister. Why can’t you be smarter in school. How can you not grasp or understand my concern? Or what about this one, you know you’ll never amount to nothing, you’ll never succeed, etc. You are who you are. You are unique and different from everyone else. People haven’t been cloned to be alike in every aspect. You are who God wants you to be. All things are possible with faith. What matters is what God thinks of us. That is precisely how I made it through some of my younger years. I was different and considered strange because of my ‘gifts’ that I was given. People didn’t understand and some may have even been scared. At first, it bugged me immensely. Then I got over it. I don’t care what they think or say. What matters is how I feel and think and what God thinks. He thought me worthy which is why he made me different than them. Or it could be I’m more sensitive to things than they were. It helped me to think differently and by thinking God doesn’t think of me as a freak or as scary, then I didn’t let those thoughts penetrate my mind anymore.
Try detoxing the mind. It might just do you better than you can imagine. Brightest blessings!
Originally posted 5/4/09, written by LAA. May not use without concent of author).
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Are you a conqueror or a victim?
Do you live with strain, challenges and obstacles? I know, who doesn’t, right? We all live with challenges at one time or another. What we must keep in mind is that each one of these challenges or obstacles are for our own best interest. How? Challenges are a lesson. They are meant for us to see. Once we see them, we are facing them. It helps to make us stronger. We have no choice but to deal with the challenge and endure it. While we are dealing with the challenge, we come up with a solution and way to cope with it and find a solution. No matter what the situation, the car breaks down, a break in a relationship, the end of a job, kids are acting up in school or hanging with the wrong crowd, someone was diagnosed with an illness, money and finances are being depleted, a pet is suffering, drug or alcohol dependancy, a crime happened, etc., and the list goes on and on. All these challenges are for us to grow and serve as a lesson to be dealt with and learned. I know, not something you want to hear, but it is true. Once you overcome a challenge, you are a conqueror, which brings us to another lesson, accepting. Contemplate on some past issues and determine what you learned from it. If you say nothing, well, be prepared for the occurrence to happen again in your future. Situations have a tendency to recur until you learn the lesson that is confronting you. It’s like the spiral dance, as you are dancing through life, bam! you are faced with the situation again. Once you learn from it, you’ll be faced with new lessons instead of old ones. I spoke of two lessons which can apply - the challenge which you conquer and overcome as well as accepting - you didn’t want the challenge, but you had to deal and accept it one way or another.
Another thing to ponder, what about our children. Are they a victim or a conqueror? Can they understand their school lessons and comprehend them? Are they being riddled with peer pressure or considered an outcast? Are they hiding the fact that they are gay or might be? Do their parents show concern for them or neglect them? Are they drowning their self esteem or challenges with drugs and or alcohol? Do they come from a broken home? In all reality, many children are being raised by only one parent. A majority of the time, that one parent will work long hours or even more than one job and really doesn’t have that much quality time with the child or children so they (the kids) are faced with the reality of being alone or fending for themselves. But, on the other hand, some children do have a home with two parents or they may have parents that split up but each parent shows interest and will spend time with them. Now, if that is the case, the child may think - ug, why can’t they just leave me alone and let me be myself? Or they may want to do something with so and so but it’s dad’s weekend and, therefore, that plan to visit or see so and so won’t manifest. It’s up to the parent (parents) to take an interest in the children. After all, children are a blessing, not just a claim on the taxes. Two souls touched and created the life of our children. It’s up to the adults in the child’s life to watch for signs (after all, we were that age once) and to have an open sign on the door so they can speak to us about something that is being carried around by them. We need to make the time to listen. If they don’t want to talk or open up, we need to remind them that we are here and were that age once and we can help with some suggestions (don’t be pushy) or we can be here to listen incase they want to vent about some area in their life. After all, you are looking at our future - perhaps the next scientist, doctor or nurse, a teacher, a future inventor, a president of a company, author of a book, etc.. Our kids look to the adults in their lives and will repeat what they see, behavior wise. If you curse, they will curse. If you practice poor hygiene, so will they. If you are lazy and only do things half ass or take the easy way out, it will reflect on your children. If you abuse people or bully them, one day, so will your child. Remember, how we handle things will rub off on our children. So strive to be a good role model, not just for the children in our lives, but for everyone around who would be affected, including co-workers, spouses, friends and family members. Strive to be the best person that you can be and, in return, you will be able to look back and have no regrets.
People carry so much luggage and baggage around with them today that it is difficult to get over the hurdles life throws our way. Example, you start dating a new person. Well, until you get to know this person, God only knows what experiences they have had. Time will tell what baggage they carry and if their ex has a tendency to hover around and put dampers on things or create a living hell. If children are involved, then be prepared for the kids to come first and foremost before you. You may not even meet the kids until the relationship seems to develop some possible future potential. Then you can deal with those issues as they develop - like will the kids like you and accept you or be jealous because you take up time in their parent’s life, or will the ex create havoc because of not wanting the kids around you or even finances may be tight due to child support, etc.. Whatever the case may be, deal with it and do so in an adult like fashion.
Another situation to ponder, how do you deal with being a victim of a crime or loss? There is no easy answer to this. Things happen. Things happen to good people. Again, you are faced with a challenge - why did this happen, how could this happen, why me, why so and so, etc.? You are angry, depressed, vengeful, may cut yourself off from life or other people, may feel dirty and violated, and the list goes on. Time goes by. You deal with it, have to face and accept it because it happened. A child was taken or is missing, a loved one left this earthly realm and moved on to the next, you were assaulted or violated, a car accident occurred and the victim suffered loss of body functions or a limb, someone suffered a stroke and is dealing with paralysis, you lost your earthly possessions in a fire, flood or some act of nature. These things happen every single day to someone. Considering these consequences, it makes you feel lucky and that your worries may be absolutely nothing compared to the situations spoken of above. It may even make you feel sad or guilty that you have it so good.
Believe it or not, but there can be some good that comes from those awful experiences. How can I say that? What is wrong with me? Think about the good that can come from organ donations. From this selflessness, someone else gets another chance. It has been said that part of that loved one lives on in this other person. If you have a loss of a body function or limb, you learn to adapt, can still use your mind and may use your experience to help counsel others who will face the same situation or invent something that will help yourself and others with the same prognosis. Dealing with death is part of life. From the time we are conceived, we are destined to die. There is no way around it. It has been that way since the evolution of time. Humans have a soul and are born of spirit. Our body is our clothing that we wear on this earthly realm. I do not know why my Heavenly Father put me on this earthly plateau, (I surmise its to help people) but I know I am destined to be back with Him again one day. I, personally, do not fear death but I do fear how it will occur. I, personally, have been close to it a few times and still feel as though I have one foot in the grave, which is why I can walk through the realms with ease. Losing possessions teaches us many things - to rebuild, start again and stronger foundations (emotional/spiritual), teaches what is important to us and what we take for granted (family, each other, etc.), to feel and appreciate how lucky we are to be here even though we suffered such a loss. It gives a renewed strength and outlook. I know, you are most likely saying - yeah, right - who thinks that way? Have you ever lived through it? And you may be saying or thinking - well what good comes out of assault or being violated? Nothing good comes from that. Well, lets ponder that. I know many will not agree with anything that I have written and that is okay. Everyone is entitled to freedom of speech and opinions. An assault could be a way of opening up someone’s eyes. Example, if a female is assaulted from a male partner, what is that telling you? Are there kids living in the household to witness this or to, perhaps, be assaulted or abused also? If it’s a random act, perhaps it’s a way to show someone what the next step is if they stay with a particular person who has anger issues and characteristics along those lines, or to realize that they are taking risks and chances that they shouldn’t be - like why were you out at that time and what was so important to be out at that time or, if a teenager, why did you run away - are things really that bad? If a male, were you flashing cash earlier that made you a target, were you just at the wrong place at the wrong time, did you butt into a feud so to keep punches from happening or the situation from getting out of line? The reasons are endless. The person who does the assaulting could be a drug addict, could have had a bad day or could be so desperate to save their house or family from starving that they resulted to crime because they couldn’t see any other way. Being violated is a whole different story. I have known women to take self defense classes, become counselors, learn to shoot a gun, become more aware of their surroundings, change laws and if a child resulted, some have chose to have it. As a result of that, they are more grounded and less impulsive, more family orientated, never alone, more focused and determined. When they are confronted by people who learn of this decision and questioned, their response is - God let them live through it, that they know the difference between love and brutality, that its not the child’s fault so they can’t hold it against the innocent child in all of this, that the child is the best thing that has ever happened to them and are blessed to have been given the name ‘mother.’ Imagine that? Not everyone would see it like that. Different people, different perspectives. What they all do have in common is that each of these women say they are a better person, today, for having experienced that brutality. How do they handle telling the child about the man who ‘fathered’ them? Well, all the women agree that the child should know one day. Secrets have a way to come out of the closet one way or another. They explain that the child is a creation of Almighty God. They explain that the child is set apart from others for a reason. No, the child didn’t get here by showing up and being a ‘happy’ accident or by being planned like most are, but by having God breathe life into the child in a different way and some sort of destiny is placed upon the child. Now, the loss or taking of a child is a different story. Nothing ever really seems to make sense from this. It’s just a senseless tragedy. The only thing that comes to my mind that could be positive is if the parents rally to change laws (like the nationwide Amber alert) or the culprit having a more harsher punishment law-wise or, better yet, put the offending culprit in a wing with the general population in a prison. If the state or parents don’t believe in the death penalty, then a short visit (from time to time) of the culprit to the general population’s outside exercise time may prove to be appealing. They can have unbelievable and unspeakable things (well, things I won’t mention in the blog) done to them. This torment is their affliction and punishment for the horrific crime they committed. I’m not saying these things to be cruel, as some of you may be thinking. I am just pondering ideas and how I would feel. We’ve all seen the movies about abductions, unspeakable crimes and TV shows on crime dramas. (One movie that comes to mind is Eye for an eye, with Sally Field and Keifer Sutherland). People handle traumas differently. Each and every one of these instances mentioned, result in a new life somehow and in someway. No matter what, things won’t be the same after any of these occur.
I’m not trying to make people live in fear, the point is destinies can change in an eye blink of an instant. We all know this. Some think this could never or will never happen to them. You can walk out your door and never make it to your destination. Take that any way you want to, whether you turn around and go home because you don’t feel well, don’t want to deal with someone who will be there, the vehicle breaks down or God takes you home. The point is to look around you and appreciate what you have. After all, life is short. Live life to its fullest, be happy with what you do have, deal with issues instead of dodging them and be the best you can be. Choose to conquer and not be the victim. Brightest blessings.
Originally posted 6/1/09, written by LAA in 4/09. May not use without authors concent.
Another thing to ponder, what about our children. Are they a victim or a conqueror? Can they understand their school lessons and comprehend them? Are they being riddled with peer pressure or considered an outcast? Are they hiding the fact that they are gay or might be? Do their parents show concern for them or neglect them? Are they drowning their self esteem or challenges with drugs and or alcohol? Do they come from a broken home? In all reality, many children are being raised by only one parent. A majority of the time, that one parent will work long hours or even more than one job and really doesn’t have that much quality time with the child or children so they (the kids) are faced with the reality of being alone or fending for themselves. But, on the other hand, some children do have a home with two parents or they may have parents that split up but each parent shows interest and will spend time with them. Now, if that is the case, the child may think - ug, why can’t they just leave me alone and let me be myself? Or they may want to do something with so and so but it’s dad’s weekend and, therefore, that plan to visit or see so and so won’t manifest. It’s up to the parent (parents) to take an interest in the children. After all, children are a blessing, not just a claim on the taxes. Two souls touched and created the life of our children. It’s up to the adults in the child’s life to watch for signs (after all, we were that age once) and to have an open sign on the door so they can speak to us about something that is being carried around by them. We need to make the time to listen. If they don’t want to talk or open up, we need to remind them that we are here and were that age once and we can help with some suggestions (don’t be pushy) or we can be here to listen incase they want to vent about some area in their life. After all, you are looking at our future - perhaps the next scientist, doctor or nurse, a teacher, a future inventor, a president of a company, author of a book, etc.. Our kids look to the adults in their lives and will repeat what they see, behavior wise. If you curse, they will curse. If you practice poor hygiene, so will they. If you are lazy and only do things half ass or take the easy way out, it will reflect on your children. If you abuse people or bully them, one day, so will your child. Remember, how we handle things will rub off on our children. So strive to be a good role model, not just for the children in our lives, but for everyone around who would be affected, including co-workers, spouses, friends and family members. Strive to be the best person that you can be and, in return, you will be able to look back and have no regrets.
People carry so much luggage and baggage around with them today that it is difficult to get over the hurdles life throws our way. Example, you start dating a new person. Well, until you get to know this person, God only knows what experiences they have had. Time will tell what baggage they carry and if their ex has a tendency to hover around and put dampers on things or create a living hell. If children are involved, then be prepared for the kids to come first and foremost before you. You may not even meet the kids until the relationship seems to develop some possible future potential. Then you can deal with those issues as they develop - like will the kids like you and accept you or be jealous because you take up time in their parent’s life, or will the ex create havoc because of not wanting the kids around you or even finances may be tight due to child support, etc.. Whatever the case may be, deal with it and do so in an adult like fashion.
Another situation to ponder, how do you deal with being a victim of a crime or loss? There is no easy answer to this. Things happen. Things happen to good people. Again, you are faced with a challenge - why did this happen, how could this happen, why me, why so and so, etc.? You are angry, depressed, vengeful, may cut yourself off from life or other people, may feel dirty and violated, and the list goes on. Time goes by. You deal with it, have to face and accept it because it happened. A child was taken or is missing, a loved one left this earthly realm and moved on to the next, you were assaulted or violated, a car accident occurred and the victim suffered loss of body functions or a limb, someone suffered a stroke and is dealing with paralysis, you lost your earthly possessions in a fire, flood or some act of nature. These things happen every single day to someone. Considering these consequences, it makes you feel lucky and that your worries may be absolutely nothing compared to the situations spoken of above. It may even make you feel sad or guilty that you have it so good.
Believe it or not, but there can be some good that comes from those awful experiences. How can I say that? What is wrong with me? Think about the good that can come from organ donations. From this selflessness, someone else gets another chance. It has been said that part of that loved one lives on in this other person. If you have a loss of a body function or limb, you learn to adapt, can still use your mind and may use your experience to help counsel others who will face the same situation or invent something that will help yourself and others with the same prognosis. Dealing with death is part of life. From the time we are conceived, we are destined to die. There is no way around it. It has been that way since the evolution of time. Humans have a soul and are born of spirit. Our body is our clothing that we wear on this earthly realm. I do not know why my Heavenly Father put me on this earthly plateau, (I surmise its to help people) but I know I am destined to be back with Him again one day. I, personally, do not fear death but I do fear how it will occur. I, personally, have been close to it a few times and still feel as though I have one foot in the grave, which is why I can walk through the realms with ease. Losing possessions teaches us many things - to rebuild, start again and stronger foundations (emotional/spiritual), teaches what is important to us and what we take for granted (family, each other, etc.), to feel and appreciate how lucky we are to be here even though we suffered such a loss. It gives a renewed strength and outlook. I know, you are most likely saying - yeah, right - who thinks that way? Have you ever lived through it? And you may be saying or thinking - well what good comes out of assault or being violated? Nothing good comes from that. Well, lets ponder that. I know many will not agree with anything that I have written and that is okay. Everyone is entitled to freedom of speech and opinions. An assault could be a way of opening up someone’s eyes. Example, if a female is assaulted from a male partner, what is that telling you? Are there kids living in the household to witness this or to, perhaps, be assaulted or abused also? If it’s a random act, perhaps it’s a way to show someone what the next step is if they stay with a particular person who has anger issues and characteristics along those lines, or to realize that they are taking risks and chances that they shouldn’t be - like why were you out at that time and what was so important to be out at that time or, if a teenager, why did you run away - are things really that bad? If a male, were you flashing cash earlier that made you a target, were you just at the wrong place at the wrong time, did you butt into a feud so to keep punches from happening or the situation from getting out of line? The reasons are endless. The person who does the assaulting could be a drug addict, could have had a bad day or could be so desperate to save their house or family from starving that they resulted to crime because they couldn’t see any other way. Being violated is a whole different story. I have known women to take self defense classes, become counselors, learn to shoot a gun, become more aware of their surroundings, change laws and if a child resulted, some have chose to have it. As a result of that, they are more grounded and less impulsive, more family orientated, never alone, more focused and determined. When they are confronted by people who learn of this decision and questioned, their response is - God let them live through it, that they know the difference between love and brutality, that its not the child’s fault so they can’t hold it against the innocent child in all of this, that the child is the best thing that has ever happened to them and are blessed to have been given the name ‘mother.’ Imagine that? Not everyone would see it like that. Different people, different perspectives. What they all do have in common is that each of these women say they are a better person, today, for having experienced that brutality. How do they handle telling the child about the man who ‘fathered’ them? Well, all the women agree that the child should know one day. Secrets have a way to come out of the closet one way or another. They explain that the child is a creation of Almighty God. They explain that the child is set apart from others for a reason. No, the child didn’t get here by showing up and being a ‘happy’ accident or by being planned like most are, but by having God breathe life into the child in a different way and some sort of destiny is placed upon the child. Now, the loss or taking of a child is a different story. Nothing ever really seems to make sense from this. It’s just a senseless tragedy. The only thing that comes to my mind that could be positive is if the parents rally to change laws (like the nationwide Amber alert) or the culprit having a more harsher punishment law-wise or, better yet, put the offending culprit in a wing with the general population in a prison. If the state or parents don’t believe in the death penalty, then a short visit (from time to time) of the culprit to the general population’s outside exercise time may prove to be appealing. They can have unbelievable and unspeakable things (well, things I won’t mention in the blog) done to them. This torment is their affliction and punishment for the horrific crime they committed. I’m not saying these things to be cruel, as some of you may be thinking. I am just pondering ideas and how I would feel. We’ve all seen the movies about abductions, unspeakable crimes and TV shows on crime dramas. (One movie that comes to mind is Eye for an eye, with Sally Field and Keifer Sutherland). People handle traumas differently. Each and every one of these instances mentioned, result in a new life somehow and in someway. No matter what, things won’t be the same after any of these occur.
I’m not trying to make people live in fear, the point is destinies can change in an eye blink of an instant. We all know this. Some think this could never or will never happen to them. You can walk out your door and never make it to your destination. Take that any way you want to, whether you turn around and go home because you don’t feel well, don’t want to deal with someone who will be there, the vehicle breaks down or God takes you home. The point is to look around you and appreciate what you have. After all, life is short. Live life to its fullest, be happy with what you do have, deal with issues instead of dodging them and be the best you can be. Choose to conquer and not be the victim. Brightest blessings.
Originally posted 6/1/09, written by LAA in 4/09. May not use without authors concent.
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